Sunday, January 4, 2009

so you lost your trust and you never should have...

i just found out tonight, that one of my 'grandmothers' (as in a woman who has known me for ages and has taken me into her heart like one of her grandchildren) going through intense sorrow, as her sister has just passed away. in an email that was sent out, i read these words...

"It's a time for wanting answers and being afraid to ask. It's a time of wanting to quit and knowing you can't. It's a time of wanting to lean on your own understanding and knowing not to do that."

i feel like that sums up my world as well.
i just need to know that redemption is more than possible, that it is likely.
i have never been one to have a lot of regrets. but it seems i've begun the year with a huge one. i'm afraid i've made a mess i cannot fix. and all of the apologies and all of the tears and all the glue in the world can't put this back together.

silly, over-sensitive, emotional little me. with all the cares in the world heavy on my heart.
but it matters to me. and that's the honest bottom line.

well, time for bed. it's been a long weekend.
id really like to wake up without that feeling of having been kicked in the stomach.

1 comment:

Arley Worley. said...

i love you. im sorry elliott always takes me away. get well soon my dear.