Near a sea of pianos, there were waves of chords that crashed against the shore in one huge and useless roar. And there were girls bringing water, like a dream they came to cool the fever of my brain, and soothe my burning throat. And they made me a necklace, hanging beads of sweat on a string of my regrets, and placed it round my neck and they were singing, “Don’t you do what you’ve wanted to. Yeah, don’t destroy yourself like those cowards do and maybe the sun keeps coming up because it has gotten used to you and your constant need for proof.”
i realised i actually had a dream about all of this. that i would have great anxiety about something. that it looked far worse than it was in reality. but, that my worries about all of these things would be swept away. i hope it turns out to be true. because i'm ever so weary of all of this. i'm not good at this at all. i'm trying. but i'm so tired of trying. oh, please let all this get better soon.