Wednesday, June 3, 2009

i hit a new kind of low.

symptoms? i can't stop crying. i can't stop feeling sick. i can't stop panicking.
all because i chose not to think something through clearly...
all because i didn't listen...
a little thing.
and i've screwed someone over royally.
and not just anyone, but someone i care about more than i've been able to admit.
someone i'm falling for. there. i've said it.
and now, i've made such a costly stupid mistake.
and there's absolutely nothing i can do about it.

but i'm sorry.

what a horribly empty set of words.
and then there's the whole thing about how...
i had one sliver of trust left.
one sliver of hope.
it's broken.
dramatic?
well, i hope you're right.
in the meantime, i'm taking leave of all this til i can figure out how to not suck at being a human being.

2 comments:

Auntie Amanda said...

uh oh.
here if you want to talk.
<3

remember to breathe.

idaretohope said...

sweet nitasha. you are lovely. and your heart is so big. just remember that we are all very human and we all make mistakes often. unfortunately. but god is the god of reconciliation and forgiveness and he can do amazing things in any situation. seek wisdom from him. let me know if you need anything love.