Saturday, November 29, 2008

say that you'll stay a little.

"show me that you love me. show me that you walk with me."

i have absolutely no photos from this past weekend. what kind of a rubbish girl am i?! right, so friday morning i made my way to manassas to see kim!!! so good. so wonderfully good. she was in town with 1/2 of her housemate couple, courtney. they were visiting courtney's best friend who's moved back to virginia recently from nyc. this friend of hers also happens to be an amazing stylist AND i'll be seeing her thursday morning before my departure, which is quite convenient. watch out now! then, there was the trip to the outhouse, i mean, refrigerated bathroom of this mexican restaurant. and then, we had lunch (a snack for me) on john legend's tab (thanks john). the girls drove back to nyc, and i was green with envy at the fact that they were speeding off to see a harry connick jr. show that night. but not too jealous, as i spent the evening with my mom and grandma which was absolutely delightful.

i've decided to bite the bullet and work at Geico. i think i need the security of the situation right now more than the get myself out of this straight-jacket of debt. it's not insurmountable, but it's just enough to make me crazy. and i've been making just not enough to do away with it. so that's that. i start on the 15th.

fingers crossed it works out to get into the studio before leaving for london thursday night. there are some new songs i'd like to get demo'd before i get there.
which brings me to panic prevention.
i do this thing where just before a big change or a big trip or the fulfillment of something i've been waiting on for absolutely ages, i freak out. just get scared out of my mind, like a bachelor on the starting line ready to sprint from commitment. i have it in my head that everything is going to go dreadfully wrong and somehow i'm going to be kicked to the curb and left out in the cold. of course this is absolutely unfounded and silly, as the overwhelming responses filling my inboxes would attest. (gosh, i'm really blessed to have some sweet friends.) nonetheless, i'll probably be horridly sick all day thursday. oh my sweet little irrational fears keeping me company. too afraid to be excited. that's what i think it boils down to. and then, by the end, i'll be weeping cos i have to leave. i am excited/nervous about some meetings, topshop and markets (so maybe i can own a few items without holes in them.), writing with friends, seeing london with friends... just BEING with friends. and this time i'll do my very best to take more photos.

i'm so sleepy. i'm not sleeping very well at night. butterflies are keeping me awake! and new songs are swirling in my head. lyrics. rhythms. and i love it! but i need some rest. my body is exhausted... as of late i average about 3 miles a day on the elliptical usually 6 - 7 days a week. and that doesn't include the weight training and other isolated exercises. now to just keep it up up up!

my grandma is singing 'my favourite things' at the top of her lungs downstairs.
she makes me laugh.
i'm off to bed. to sleep this time, i hope!

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