and alright lets go outside and rise rise rise to the meaning of life.

sometimes i think it would be nice to be somebody else.
then, i think that would be the worst idea ever.
mostly i wish i could see myself the way my family sees me.

apparently, i'm trying to catch pneumonia... i went job hunting today, and my cloth shoes were soaked in the cold rain.
and sometimes i wish i was better at waiting.
this unemployment thing is causing me to be an absolute wreck.
*edit*
and sometimes i have these rare moments of clarity, where i realise that i can choose to think things will work out. i can choose to accept the encouragement of my friends. i can choose to accept the love of my family...be humbled, and do the very best i can do. because, this too, will pass.
or.
i can sit and wallow in my own self-pity. which, i assure you, is what comes easiest.

and sometimes i have to make that choice more than once a day...
one day at a time.