Friday, February 17, 2012


i was walking down the stairs
the foyer welcomed and sang to the rhythm of my heels
each door has its own way.
across the street
through the headlights.
they're deep in conversation and if i know them, i wouldn't recognize them anyway
i couldn't hear a word they were saying
or notice the song playing for the patrons...
glasses clinking, plates presenting...
it's all one sound
muffled by my own breathing
i'm wandering round inside my own head
the same ridiculous thoughts
and i can blow the ordinary things out of proportion
it's a gift.
it's a curse.
i didn't notice the grass.
just the sinking of my heels in the soft ground...
moved faster as though i was being hunted
toward the river
the branches didn't scratch, but seemed to move out of my way
stepped out of my shoes
remembered just how cold it actually is
i'd appeal to the current and beg it to make me clean
even if in just some sort of mystical symbolism
i'd take it.
i'll take it.
take it from me.
all that i took to heart...
all that i memorized...
all the phantom sensations...
i'm convinced they are true.
so sign me up for the classes
and reinvent me
rewrite me
and insight some sort of chorus
like a ring on my finger
like indelible markings of ownership on my heart
i'll stay under a moment longer just in case it makes a difference
heady and dizzy the pace races and slows
like the surface is begging me to
come up for air
and i took in the air in my lungs
like a thirsty mouth takes a drink
and i'll leave one request here.
make it new.

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