apparently i lit up the room or something like that
he said it was rare for women like me to be so bright
to be so sweet still
"you haven't been hurt yet"
i think he wished for it.
i gave my rebuddle... and he was proven wrong.
and yet, so was i.
secrets hidden. uncovered.
looking around the rooms.
watching their faces
favourite darling faces.
and with one movement i'd leave it.
should've thought of that.
but you can't really prepare for that.
i'm just this hollow shell.
lots of flesh on bones
and the neat orderly stacks in my brain
all ripped open
let's see if i survive this.
i look at those squinting eyes and am disgusted.
there is the chance to speak truth.
but rather avoid conflict and confrontation.
the sadness gives way to rage
which gives way to silence
which give way to this deep melancholy
falls on my head like a magic spell
break it o'er my dead body.