circles.

i boarded the northern train
courage in my spirit
determination in my eyes
an empty platform
and smoldering ash left behind.
but i could feel your ghost breathing
next to me in the empty seat
i missed you terribly
but kept on riding away.
i meant to change lines...
or did i?
i boarded the southern train
i wanted to be sure
i wanted to ride for a while
maybe i'd made it all up in my head
maybe it was just a dream
that had driven me from my bed
and i wished it to move faster
and closer still
waiting for the stop to bring you near
you said you'd be there
waiting there for me
and as i descended the stairs
i could only see
you confiding in another
waiting on the seat
and i wondered why you couldn't
just wait alone for me
and i fled the platform
the excuses and the whys
boarded the northern train
with anger in my eyes
and stayed awake all night
elephant seated on my chest
breathing shallow
in silence
watching the night hold tight the rest.
i nodded off
no blanket
i was frozen when i woke with a start
telegrams delivered
hope beating in my heart
and i jumped trains again
to return as you'd asked
because you meant it
you were broken
i could feel it
deep as the wounds went inside.
the weather got rather bad, it seemed
there was ice on the bridge
delay after delay
if i could make
2 more stops
one more ridge
and i arrived
so soon the flame had gone?
my heart imprinted with your palms
and you - unsure of what you want
run here and there
with no qualms
and i am circling the state
in my tiny little car
going mad with every shake
i flip the coin
and every day it lands on the other side
so tell me once and for all
tell it plain
look me squarely in the eyes
and tell the truth
and nothing but
will you stay or will you go
take a minute
make up your mind
are you
or are you not mine?