the wheels on the train go round and round...

early i wake up.
maybe yes. maybe no.
to alarms of guilt for what?
i don't even seem to know.
pull me out from under here
if you can
leave me be.
i'm not good enough for you
i'm not good enough for me.
simple wish makes me swoon
makes me fly round the room.
makes me dream of you til noon.
makes me simply a baffoon.
a monsoon hits with confused bits of
who what where and why?
turn around and shut it out and run away
just to cry.
the push and pull. suspicious eyes.
the lack of trust. the long goodbyes.
the picture that just won't come out.
the things i've learned to do without.
i'm wreckless now.
i'd take you now.
i'll settle for your incomplete.
i'm restless now.
i'll show you how.
i'll love you but i won't compete.
not for you or he nor she.
nor any collective units of we.
nor me.
late i fall in bed.
with chaos raging round my head.
keep rehearsing what we've said.
just to wake and find it dead.