i woke up on a bench on shepherds bush green with a candle at my chest and a head on his knee.

so let's rewind to wednesday...

• had to be at king's cross by 8.30 to pick up the keyboard
• went to camden to drink some coffee. the barista was nice. and even came over to my table to pick up my trash. though, he didn't go to anyone else's table. hmm.
• headed to the studio to write and things.
• practised for the gig on a 1973 original Yamaha Grand Piano that had been played by Elton John, Led Zeppelin, and Muse... just to name a couple of names...
• found myself in the back of a mercedes driven by a man in a suit, headed to shepherds bush green, and all i could think of was laura marling's 'night terror'
• clive & i went for some yummy italian food.
• lots of people came that made me very very happy.
• tom did not come, cos he was working. =(
• but a certain mister from EMI did come. and i got nervous.
• but more people i love put my mind at ease, and i slipped away into the music and really really really enjoyed every second.
• my friends are rowdy... and can't be in places where they're supposed to sit and be quiet for long periods of time. they usually escape to the back and start laughing and talking. hehehe
• clive drove me back to st. john's wood...where i found out someone had locked the studio door by mistake, therefore the code to the door wouldn't work. and i got locked out.
• ash called a cab, which took me to his place, where his lovely wife had set out pajamas, toiletries and had a comfy bed made up.

thursday -

• watched E4 & had some breakfast.
• car-ride to the studio...feeling nauseated. but enjoying conversation with ash & lucy.
• got in the front seat when lucy got to the station... still feeling nauseous.
• arrived at st. john's wood so i could change clothes... still nauseous.
• opened the door to my room, and was unbearably sick...ran ... threw up.
• no longer nauseous, and feeling much better, i changed and went to the studio.
• we recorded the aforementioned song in the previous post, and i cried.
• we started writing a really fun tune...
• then, we (ash, justin & i) went and got some super yummy food at the pub.
• i found myself in a bmw headed to the lock tavern. (what can i say? i got lucky with the taxis!) to meet clive.
• listened to this guy dan smith, greg manages, and finally met greg's lovely girlfriend, alice.
• got my painting from danny! yaaaay!
• elena hunted us down.
• we hunted down a cab...and parted ways.
• i got back to the room...and felt sad. so i talked to sleepy tom, and clive.
• i wanted to cry, but i slept instead. (hmm. i should use that in a song)

friday.

• got a taxi at 7.30 - paddington - train - heathrow - tram - terminal 5
• long flight. 3 films later... i landed.

saturday -
i slept nearly 12 hours last night.
i've got a blister on my foot, and i've lost about 7 pounds, apparently.
i'm dreading monday. and, i'm scared that everything wonderful that just happened will stop. that the heads my songs are stuck in will soon forget me. that the hearts i dote upon will not wait. that my name pencilled in will be erased. that i'll be stuck within the 4 walls of mediocrity at a desk selling people things they have to have. that i am a jane austin who writes and dreams of the things that won't actually happen to me.
that i'll be out of sight, out of mind.

i would just like for things to be different this time.