i need that christmas feeling.
i need a festival of lights.
i miss some faces.
trips to new york & la & seattle & nashville need to happen.
and i mean, jack-be-quick!
'supersonic' could be my anthem for 2009. because, well just because.
my mom went with me to see oasis & ryan adams & matt costa, saturday night.
i had such an amazing time. that's putting it very mildly.
and i got a shirt.
i'm a fan. so?
also. currently reading...
my mind is a parade of thoughts. the usual streets blocked off... and i'm gazing upward. watching the shapes change and move through the sky. learning to use these numbers i forfeited. learning to make them sing for me. and so, they said, it comes in threes. wait. wait. wait. is someone waiting on me?
and while i'm sipping my complimentary beverage, tell me if you think about me... if i pass through your mind, at least, in those sentimental ways? do you? or do you. i second guess myself. expecting the negative when elation waits to greet me with a kiss each morning. i should be less quick to dismiss it and keep my hope at bay. jumping from page to page. attempting to read the ending of the book before it's even properly begun. but i still wonder. i like when my phone rings and it's you... i like seeing your name. i like when you're talking to me. admittedly selfish when it comes to these things. and fast as you can, her voice makes me remember where i am. the time, forgotten, i was looking at your face...then i blink. i remember. places to be. equations to solve. checks and balances and write, copy and save! oh how desperately they believe you. i wish, i was better at trusting. but those talented voice-throwers have fooled my perfect pitch. i keep thinking it's you letting me down. i keep thinking it's you behind the fist of reality's unexpected blows. and it isn't... you've turned the bright lights back on. but slow, so my eyes open slow and my head stops aching... but dreaming again, the shadows flicker out of control throwing my vision off... i stop for a moment to call. no answer. eventually they'll send the sweetest response. wait. wait. wait.
they've taken my heart and run away with it and planted it. and the bud opens, ever so softly in greenwich meantime english sunshine. they wait for me to come back and get it. how long will they wait? but in the meantime, my friends come and go. fade in and fade out. i grasp for the few minutes of conversation. of promised meetings. of promised calls. of promises promises...pre-occupied meanderings of wishful thinking. it's a kind gesture, really. it's the thought that counts. but some days you want to reach out your hand and touch more than a delicate mist. cheek to cheek to empty space. i wish they were around. and i'm sure i am unmissed. snapped back to attention by the old telephone ring. fumbling around. i knew it would be you. and my smile is unstoppable. anyone within miles can catch the contageous laughter in our voices. once again the stars of perspective captivating my wandering attention. hope rises, fear is in retrograde and i'm in full bloom before you. all these cares have gone. i'm happy. and i'm home.