Thursday, April 19, 2012

if i could tell you anything...

it's the tearing...
the two sides of my heart exploding
one that would tell you that it's lost in some dizzying wonder.
that i still notice when your hand brushes my arm.
that my favourite place in the whole world is when you hold me.
everything stops.
everything is still.
and the other that whispers, "i'm afraid..."
afraid you meant it.
afraid i'm not enough.
afraid your heart isn't mine.
and then the other cannot help it...
cannot help but sigh when you tell me so.
i'd tell you that you're more than enough.
that i see what you cannot...
that i believe what you cannot
that you are woven into the fabric of my world
and maybe i just wish you could see the greatness within....
or maybe the power you possess
the way you touch all five senses
and you can heal them
and you can bruise them
your gift can build up
and it can tear down
and you have no idea the effect...
of just your word
of just your touch
it's how you see things.
it takes a song to remind me...
just a moment
and i'm in a transporter
the trees twirling past
in the passenger seat
i'd close my eyes and just breathe it in
i couldn't stop smiling
one of the happiest moments of my life
and i wasn't afraid to be.
and you weren't afraid to say so.
and it all got confused and twisted.
started seeing things the wrong way
like the enemy of our story tricked us
we've been had, sir.
and sipping the beer... the taste acquired...
i imagined, i was completely and utterly present
as myself.
all myself.
and it was enough.
and i was the one you'd fight for.
one of your heart's great desires.
the one your mind runs to.
your muse.
and i could revel in it and dispel the doubt.
the rumours.
the fear.
the mirror i look in paints me as a fool.
and when i say out loud what it is that i see...
no one bothers to correct.
and so, if i could tell you anything...
i'd tell you everything.
but it's what you said in response...
it's what i'd find in your heart
that would make all the difference.
your beautiful love.

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