Monday, April 23, 2012

11:12

i can't even find a starting point
i reached the end of my rope months ago
treading water and coasting
and just when i think it's all about to be better
_____ careless fools drag me down a little farther
i still have some fight left
but at this point, i assure you it would be reckless
careless
_____ dirty.
this kind of anger steals my creativity
steals my ability to utilize my vocabulary
all you're worth is expletives and profanity
i curse the day i met you.
half-startled, half-ashamed of the depths of my rage
but hell hath no fury like woman scorned.
and there is nothing like the first time it's released
what? all this from such a sweet, loving girl
always looking on the bright side?
i'm always quick to cry rather than to snap back
quick to calm down rather than to yell or scream
quick to UNDERSTAND
quick to FORGIVE
quick to OVERLOOK
your damned failing just to be a decent ____ human.
and just maybe one day... everyone will see you
see you for the fraud you are.
that none of your ideas or words or interests are original
you are a blatant knockoff
and i'm not sure what's worse
what you are?
or the good hearts who buy in to what you are.
you are my judas
the straw that broke the camel's back
eh.
that's far too much credit.
you are simply the puppet on a hundred strings
a filthy parasite under my skin
burrowed lies deep inside my brain
to torment
and i will scratch you out.
and so help me GOD...
i will release you
i will release each finger turning white wrapped round
your reddened neck
i will give up my fantasies of your destruction
i
WILL.
LET.
YOU.
OFF.
lest i bleed out.
and you most certainly are not worth that.
and i will wash my hands
and hand you over
to the divine
to some system of karma
set myself free...
and release you.
to allow beautiful things to come from this cursed ground
or i will become it.

No comments: