I am also, apparently a very slow learner.
I was nearing the point of tears from a current situation, and wanted nothing more than to just clock out and peace out on the whole night. A guy I work with stopped me and said that wasn't the best of ideas, and not to let one person ruin my time. That I was better than all that. I listened. He gave me a man hug, later... and another made me some food. It's all I needed for that few minutes, anyway. Since then, my holiday has had this weird backdrop of pure anxiety about going back to work. Last night, a friend of mine, a darling dashing baron... echoed the above sentiments with the more colourful of language choices and then said, "rise above it."
I immediately thought, eh. They're all saying the same things. but, really?! Easier said than done.
And then I wondered why it was so hard after all?
Because really, when 5 years pass, ok. 5 months pass, I'll have forgotten the details of this situation. All I'll remember are the people I wanted to be with after my shift was over.
The question really is...
WHY AM I LIVING LIKE THIS GOLDFISH BOWL IS THE WHOLE SEA?!
because it's not.
Now, I'm a firm believer of being diligent in the small things. Of remembering where you've come from and all of that. But I am very good at making ant hills feel like a mount everest in my mind. And life is hard enough without my brain's fanciful exaggerations.
You give it all you've got. If it turns out well, then... spectacular.
If it doesn't, well... on to the next one.
This is temporal.
Everything cannot be perfect.
I cannot make everyone happy.
I wish I could explain how tired I am.
I feel like I have the flu minus all the symptoms but lethargy and fatigue.
I could sleep all day without any problem. That's how hard I'm running right now.
It will be ok though.
so repeat the mantra.
This is a goldfish bowl.
This is not the whole sea.