keppe down and gei schluffen.

[irving penn - summer sleep]

why is it so hard to just put your head down and go to sleep?
no matter how young you are...
no matter how old you are...
i have never known stability in my life.
i dont say that in a 'woe is me' sort of way.
but it's just how it's been. lots of love anchoring years and years and years of heartache.
and i've tried so hard to be 'good'. to make the right decision. to make myself better... whatever i can to fix things, to fix others, to rescue everyone. so history doesn't repeat itself.
once again, everything has fallen.
it feels as though the whole world is moving and yet it just dropped dead.

control is an illusion.
and i can't seem to pry my hands from that shadow.
i am fear driven and anxious and full of unrest.
fury-filled.
but the future is not what you've seen.
the future is not what it used to be.
all things can be made new. right?
i just need to let go.
do not be afraid. do not be afraid. do not be afraid. do not be afraid. do not be afraid. do not be afraid. do not be afraid. do not be afraid. do not be afraid. do not be afraid. do not be afraid. do not be afraid.do not be afraid. do not be afraid. do not be afraid. do not be afraid. do not be afraid. do not be afraid. do not be afraid. do not be afraid. do not be afraid. do not be afraid. do not be afraid. do not be afraid.do not be afraid. do not be afraid. do not be afraid. do not be afraid. do not be afraid. do not be afraid. do not be afraid. do not be afraid. do not be afraid. do not be afraid. do not be afraid. do not be afraid. do not be afraid. do not be afraid. do not be afraid.
at night your song is with me.

songs in the dead of night.
so sing me to sleep.