Friday, May 15, 2009

i don't want to put you in a box; i just want to love you!

note to 95% of 'single' boys predominantly living in the nashville area - esp. those who talk about lovin' jesus: (ok, well, the semi-clean version) :

  • please, and i'm asking nicely. please, realise that women are human beings with more than moving body parts. they are not breathing blow-up dolls made for your pleasure.
  • they are not varieties of cake, and this is not your cake testing before choosing the perfect one for your wedding. or cars made for test-driving.
  • they aren't made for back burners. or to be your in-case-of-emergency-best-friend, who is always there for you when you need anything, especially when reciprocation works only on your inconvenient hours of operation.
  • if you plan to remain single for a while longer or have commitment issues, just grow a pair and say so. stop 'practising' the art of romance on beautiful women in order to get some ass, stroke your ego, or get your attention fix. just admit to everyone that you are playing the field, and i assure you, you'll be understood. besides, there are plenty of lovely singles who are bound to come out of the woodwork to play with. quite frankly, i have far more respect for boys who say just that, than i ever will for #$%^*& like you who live scared of everything and pretend and masquerade in order to keep your pretty image.
  • if you want something, then, fight for it. because girls are pretty much sick of making this whole process convenient.
  • don't pull the God card. oh wait, it's the only one you've got... because essentially a God-card is your way of getting out of a sticky situation that you're too much of a coward to face.
  • you make your bed? sleep in it. you mess up a bed, then re-make it. in other words, don't start what you can't finish.
  • the silent treatment is a cop-out that bides you time to shut down emotionally and distance yourself from a potentially difficult situation. ummm. yes. this is a GREAT idea. ???
  • please understand. this isn't a pointed finger demanding perfection. i'm just sick and tired of boys like you hurting and using and mistreating ladies who've done nothing but take a chance on you. just think a little bit. be a bit more considerate. be a little more thoughtful. be a little more practical before causing a whirlwind romance and then freak out because you can't find the pause button.
  • so, if the shoe fits, then, wear it, cinderella. and work it out. life is full of uncertainties. there are no guarantees that the things you hope for will work out. you can't change that. so, don't be afraid to risk! where's your sense of adventure? or stay on the shores until you've mustered the courage. you keep romancing the girls until they are willing to risk, only to get out on the high seas, at which point you freak out and s.o.s your helicopter for one back home, leaving them high and dry. and it always appears that you've lost nothing, in the end.
    listen, we absolutely love you. in this. now. good times and bad. with or without change. but, seriously? i for, one, am utterly angry and enough is enough. (and i wonder why the mentors in your lives say nothing? do they just not know???) i'm just sick of my girl friends all crying and broken and changing and going on these unnecessary journeys of introspection and self-evaluation (for the 100th time today) and life makeovers because of the crap you do. of watching them retreat back into their shells and go through sorrow in ways you'll never know or understand, because you're long gone chasing after the next lover. i know you're better than this. this isn't your heart, so step up. we need you. not more passive men stumbling around in our lives winning our hearts and affections only to declare bankruptsy and skip town.
  • if the shoe doesn't fit... then, thank you. more than i'm able to express, thank you.


1 comment:

Auntie Amanda said...

Amen and Amen.
Thank you for this. I'll be re-reading it a hundred times this week I'm sure... as I flag down a ship to find my way out of this high seas' shipwreck.
love you.