Thursday, November 12, 2009

cabin fever. [ode to madame fear.]

do you ever look madame fear in the eye and say, "oh no you don't!"
and then, the next thing you know, everything looks like it's about to start crashing in again?
and you think to yourself, " way to go genius! now, why the devil did i feel it necessary to look that wench in the eye and start something? because now, i've bitten off more than maybe i can chew, and i'll be proved wrong. fail!"

or maybe fear is just a genius at painting optical illusions...the ones that say you're going to fail and that all your dreams are never coming true and your hopes are just targets waiting to be dashed from your hands.

and i assure you being stuck in bed for days does nothing but help you to see these illusions more clearly.

because maybe the finances will be just fine after all.
and maybe i need to take my hand away. the one about to push the detinator on something that's really lovely. and maybe i need to just be patient and a little more thoughtful when it comes to these things.
and maybe fear just keeps you down on the floor and turns you into a dogged coward.
and maybe hope isn't held in my hands but written on my heart.
and just maybe i'm not sorry for standing up to these fears and saying,

"i'm scared as hell of you. but i'm not stopping. i am not alone. i will not stop moving."

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