i've spent these years trying to sing these doubts away; but the water keeps on falling from my eyes.

i hate when i cry myself to sleep and wake up crying.
and then you have to walk into work like everything's fine.
when will i understand all these things? and not just for a fleeting moment, but really grasp it so it doesn't leave again. you try to embrace the hard times, letting it all refine you, rather than bring you down and break you. you just give in and choose joy and choose hope. and then, just because you aren't wallowing in guilt and self-pity everyone thinks you're fine! what?!?!
not to mention, i've got this horrid suspicion that everyone knows something that i don't.
it's all...
"poor boy. poor boy. what have i done? poor boy. poor boy, i'll right my wrong. what can i say or do to change these grey skies back to blue?"
i would just like to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that all of this... every bit of it actually matters. that it is of value. that good will come of it, in the end.

"i'm a reasonable [girl] get off my case, get off my case"

ah, God bless the Lord for Jon Foreman and Thom Yorke!!!!
the little things.