i need you so much closer.

it all started when i ran out of melodies and harmonies. i ran out of ideas and chords. when everything inside needed to rush out and refused any constraint.

probably a hundred broken hallelujahs.

and then i just sang it out.

i have no idea what it sounded like.

i couldn't reproduce it, if i tried.

but it wasn't really about writing it down or something.

it was a spontaneous act.

worship.

and you.

i always forget just who you are.

and i looked down at my hands attempting to lift the whole world...

and i just let go.

i was angry.

i was getting so bitter.

i was hurt...

and i was ready to bolt.

and perhaps the answers were bigger than all this, in the end.

so i picked up a book, which proceeded to blow my mind.

because our love tanks are empty...

because there's a thousand changes on the horizon.

because i've been afraid.

because i forgot just who you are.

and so, it would seem that i am in love.

and you said, "it's not time for you to leave."

"it's time for me to show up."

"it's not time for you to go"

"just time to let go..."

love keeps no record of wrongs.

i had no idea how much energy it was taking to hang on to everything

gripping the world

holding myself together.

i let go, and i woke up exhausted.

but things are changing...

because you said so.