Thursday, January 26, 2012

fear fool.

just wondering if this vacant sensation will always stay.
gorgeous lilies to my left.
they aren't mine, but they don't have to be to enjoy them.
to brighten the eyes a little.
and everything hurts a little.
a little sore.
just wondering if the heady feeling would return.
or is this the sort of weight you just have to get used to?
i mean, because i won't.
started writing love notes.
and i was humming hymns under my breath
the kind that tend to dissolve the shadows a little
going on a spiel
one of those romantic tantrums
and i stayed awake without getting tired
but let the chemicals get a little out of balance and i start...
start it up.
question marks everywhere they don't belong?
it's harder to pretend it feels ok.
but at least i've got that everliving smile in my voice.
and i keep saying thank you.
as though it's all such an damned imposition.
did i just gain your disapproval?
whatever you do, swim.
don't you dare begin to sink.

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