Saturday, April 4, 2009

free as a bird.

all i want to do is be outside.
all i want to do is laugh. and read. and board a plane to london or get to nashville and go on adventures with my favourite people. (and take that detour to paris. thanks to sweet parisian friends.)
i've never felt so incredibly empty and full, all at the same time.
it's kind of like when you've been carrying something heavy, and you're just so used to it being there... then one day, someone offers to help you carry it. and some people are able to just put it all down at once. but some people, like myself, are hard-headed and only put one piece down at a time.
one piece at a time i've put down these giant suitcases filled with garbage of the past and the broken bits of me, and disappointments and all kinds of things.

and i'm a little achy from carrying all that around.
i'm stuffed full of a hope and a love and a brand new expectation.
which, i'm still a liiiiittle unsure of.
but for the first time in a long time, my hands are absolutely empty.
my slate is clean. there is no affection for a boy hanging in my heart. no unrequited love tugging on my emotions. no places i'm afraid for love to see.
i'm naked and unashamed.
my hands are empty.
because how on earth can i pick up anything or embrace anything good, if i'm drowning in the weight of the world.

it's good to be free.

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