think. thank. thunk.

mom spent the night last night. slumber party. woot!
we got up early this morning, because she's one of those manditory employees at the hospital. we got things going rather well, but when it came to getting back to the worn path, well...it was a bit tough.
so a bunch of men in the neighbourhood helped my mom get her truck... unstuck.
then, my neighbour and i dug paths from our houses to the cars.
a guy down the street offered to help me... twice. and also offered me coffee.
what is this the twilight zone?
i like it though.
however, i'm very close to calling 911.
because that man has stirred my need for a white mocha.
i need starbucks.
i can't drive (they haven't plowed yet...) and i need it.
i'm developing cabin fever big style, and not a soul is on chat.

martha, my dear...

what is this?!?!

• remembrance week for ____________? i dont need to have fond memories right now. i'm tired of that place being sore. i'm...just bein' honest. i hate when things aren't resolved. i hate losing friends. moreover, i hate losing people you care about for no good reason. if he could hear me, i'd shout, "listen, fool, i effing miss you. i miss you a lot, now get over your weirdness and let's go back to the start! this is beyond stupid and ridiculous and wank."
• i hate knowing that nothing you say or do will change how a situation is.
• overdraft fun. 2 weeks of cutting it close.
  (thankfully christmas shopping is complete. just need to ship some packages and mail some cards.)
• more tears last night.
• and i still can't even talk about my family. ugh.
• i'm grinched in hipster glasses and a victoria's secret santa hat.

so let's calm down and change the subject.
or just watch this instead:

bottle up and...

Waylaid
he scans his watches
so intrepid with his want and need
Unpaid
Carve out the notches
telling stories of the darling greed
Closer
And so dramatic
In his way of stating mundane things
Hold her
It’s automatic
Fall down at your shrine of printed queens

Oh use caution
When these explosions of trust go off
Oh take care when
We refuse to just stop.
It’s enough.
Is it not?

Scraping
Beneath disaster
Pages bound to tell us what it means
Wanting
An explanation
None arrives so hide the wound that bleeds
Sinking
Into our bloodstream
All of it in ink beneath our skin
Gaping
The mouth of vengeance
Bitterness will bite til it forgives

Oh use caution
When these explosions of trust go off
Oh take care when
We refuse to just stop.
It’s enough.
Is it not?

up up and away!

i am a rocket. you are an anchor down.

want.

stella mccartney. again. again. again.