pleased to make your acquaintance.

after nearly 3 weeks, i have internet again.

i'm so stupidly happy about this.

and now that i'm completely moved into my cozy little den,

i just might be back more often.

sunday, february 6, 2011

chaos.

disappointment.

infinity blues.

i feel like i am treading water...

fighting currents.

fighting myself.

fighting.

fighting.

fighting.

and losing.

asking.

asking.

asking.

access denied.

giving.

giving.

giving.

stolen.

depleted.

understanding.

offering.

being...

receiving cold shoulders and silence and rejection and judgement.

and i'm just tired...

of everything being the same.

of being disappointed.

i can't sleep.

i can't eat.

i feel miserable when i do both.

so i just keep moving until it all shuts down.

hoping it will all go numb.

because, nothing seems right.

still.

have you fallen asleep?