once upon a dream.

I dreamt I moved to Brooklyn.

I simply walked across the bridge.

i would just like to feel beautiful & adored.

like i'm one in a million.

full of bright hope.

for my mind not to contradict the knowledge of my heart...

so i can believe it for more than just a day at a time.

just for a little while.

if i could just crawl under the cover of your arms

and watch the shadows pass over the wall

and be still

just for a little while

sun streaming in through the blinds

the way it lights your face

as if only for me

talking in hushed tones

all covered in smiles

like the sweetest tidal wave of joy

sweeping over us

just leaving a calm behind

just leaving a peace in its wake

just like the very first time we spoke those words out loud

and all of the angry currents were stilled

and the rising tides of doubt subsided

the winds of change only stir up excitement

the exhausting beat of my anxious heart is silenced in my chest

no constriction

nor the bray of lies

or ghosts of the past

just easy, steady rhythms

slowly rising

and falling

and we can breathe deep

contented and satisfied to just be

and i can hear those songs in my head again

quiet little melodies

orchestrated ebbs and flows

i swear, if you're still enough you can hear...

like love himself is singing over us

and i know the whole world is calling

for us to go and discover it

and we're on our way

we're right on time

not a moment too early

not a second too late

learning to savor it

learning to take it all in

the strength to keep running

the grace to begin again

and so, if it's alright

would it be ok?

if i could just crawl under the cover of your arms

and watch the shadows pass over the wall

and be still

just for a little while...

marché

it's all swaying like the trees

warm and alive

just reaching

and i wonder if you hear me

standing and waiting

the shuffle backward

would it awake you in the night?

or would you sleep through the alarms?

same old blood that i cannot...

i've tried

but, i cannot get out

it won't come out

without bleeding myself dry

and that thorn

its parasitic head buried just beneath

unknown, undetected in the back of my neck

a friend with misgivings

covered in misspellings

dressed in white

but inside...

nothing but squalor

but i... the "good gentle woman"

invited her into the parlor

forgive me

under my breath

praying for a murder

or painless escape

or something marvelous to spring up

because we're on the edge of something

like the atmosphere is groaning

like the very soil is in labor

ready for something beautiful to become of all of this

to be made of us.

i need you so much closer.

it all started when i ran out of melodies and harmonies. i ran out of ideas and chords. when everything inside needed to rush out and refused any constraint.

probably a hundred broken hallelujahs.

and then i just sang it out.

i have no idea what it sounded like.

i couldn't reproduce it, if i tried.

but it wasn't really about writing it down or something.

it was a spontaneous act.

worship.

and you.

i always forget just who you are.

and i looked down at my hands attempting to lift the whole world...

and i just let go.

i was angry.

i was getting so bitter.

i was hurt...

and i was ready to bolt.

and perhaps the answers were bigger than all this, in the end.

so i picked up a book, which proceeded to blow my mind.

because our love tanks are empty...

because there's a thousand changes on the horizon.

because i've been afraid.

because i forgot just who you are.

and so, it would seem that i am in love.

and you said, "it's not time for you to leave."

"it's time for me to show up."

"it's not time for you to go"

"just time to let go..."

love keeps no record of wrongs.

i had no idea how much energy it was taking to hang on to everything

gripping the world

holding myself together.

i let go, and i woke up exhausted.

but things are changing...

because you said so.