...and we become sunshine.

you know, or i can just handle my biznaazz.

venting is so good.

especially when it's real venting, which usually releases hot air like a tea kettle whistlin. and then, you just get some perspective over a cuppa tea. clive is good at listening to me do this. rather. he's good at laughing while i do this.

also. last night, i baked a cake in my hair...

well almost.
this:

+ this:

= pure hair goodness.
and now for some music by the ugly suit.
glory be.

i love you, but you're green.

and i'm real tired of the over-exaggerated music industry bull-shite.
let's just stop. right here. right now.

i wish on stars for pigs to fly apparently.

getcha mind right, mami, getcha mind right.

ok wait. wasn't it a memphis bleek song? because i loved him.
'and i aint even gonna front.'
point being that little phrase is so true. i just need to get my mind right.
i loathe being patient. so much. but, there is something beautiful to this waiting/patience. (and i'm captain obvious, apparently.) but it's something i've been fleeing from. absolutely fleeing in sheer terror. and i'm finally beginning to embrace it. and suddenly there's this overwhelming sense of adventure. this knowing that everything is about to be so good. but more than that... that everything IS so good. right here. right now. the process. as hard as it is. it's like running...building endurance. and i'm staying the course. and workin it out. but i'm not going to get there constantly thinking about how crap it is and how out of breath i am. you just keep breathing and start singing. run to your favourite song and it becomes a dance. and you can't stop yourself if you try. it's getting a new perspective. seeing the world through the eyes of hope.

Look at the night skies: Who do you think made all this? Who marches this army of stars out each night, counts them off, calls each by name—so magnificent! so powerful!— and never overlooks a single one? Why would you ever complain or whine, saying,"God has lost track of me. He doesn't care what happens to me"? Don't you know anything? Haven't you been listening? God doesn't come and go. God lasts. He's Creator of all you can see or imagine.
He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath. And he knows
everything, inside and out. He energizes those who get tired, gives
fresh strength to dropouts. For even young people tire and drop out, young folk in their prime stumble and fall. But those who wait upon God get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles, They run and don't get tired, they walk and don't lag behind. [isaiah. 40.27-31]

oh my my. oh heck yes!

lonely little love dog howling hallelujah.

please, release me
release me for a while
i'm learning everything
but, the contours of your smile
and the beat comes running
everytime i see your face
so, please release me
til the pain here is erased.

don't be afraid
love is taking our sadness away
don't be afraid
love is chasing our fear to its grave
don't be afraid
love is redeeming the mess that we made
don't be afraid
love will teach you to dance again

i count the minutes like
pennies in a bank
i wait for something
to say that we will be ok
i keep on trying
to just be good enough
but i quit this striving
and running from your love

don't be afraid

love is taking our sadness away

don't be afraid

love is chasing our fear to its grave

don't be afraid

love is redeeming the mess that we made

don't be afraid

love will teach you to dance again

the clouds were split for you and i.

into the darkness
lined in thousands of trees
i broke the harness
that latched itself to me
this little light of mine
shot through the shadows of leaves
and we cried
and we cried
cos it was good to go free

i was dancin around
the moon slipped through the cracks
illuminated now
don't need to cover my tracks
for my love was found
on the eve of spring
and we cried
and we cried
cos it was good to be free

sometimes it all makes sense
sometimes we have to believe
sometimes it comes so fast
sometimes so slowly
it's coming
it's coming
it's coming for me